What it means to be a woman--a mother and a daughter

Yesterday my friend Carrie came over with her six year old daughter. Carrie is 34 years old; her mother and I are the same age. We swam, snacked, chatted, and played with her daughter Corrine. We found a praying mantis whom Corrine named Danielle. We cut fresh herbs from the garden: thyme, oregano, marjoram, and mint. Carrie and I spoke about what we learned from our mothers.When I was growing up, my mother tried to teach me how to be kind and subservient; I'm about to turn 60. Carrie's mother tried to teach her how to be kind, independent, and strong. Just another fifteen years later, I've tried to teach my daughter how to be kind, independent albeit connected to a network of friends and family, strong, and a leader.

And now McCain has cynically chosen a young woman with no experience who feigns feminism by stealing Hillary Clinton's "18 million cracks in the glass ceiling" phrase. Don't forget: Sarah Palin is a fundamentalist Christian who is anti-choice, and has skirted the "creationism" issue by saying we need to dialogue with fools. Follow her emerging biography from my favorite blog: talkingpointsmemo.com

Now we can't be blinded by gender, just as we can't be blinded by race. I didn't vote for Hillary Clinton in the primary, although I've supported her as my Senator. The Sunday before the New York Primary, I stayed in bed most of the day with my laptop. I searched, I read, and intermittently, I called friends with one question: Who are you voting for?

My whole life I've wanted to vote for a woman, something my college-aged daughter reminded me way into Super Tuesday primary night when she found out I actually voted for Obama. (She was a Hillary supporter, and this is her first presidential election.) My whole life I've felt like an outsider until now, until I look and see other accomplished women all around. I opposed the war in Iraq since before it started. Our family marched in 18 degree weather on the infamous march to nowhere, when New York City Police Commissioner Kelly diverted the excess crowds away from the United Nations Park. How come I knew invading Iraq was about oil and Hillary didn't?

I watched the dipdive.com video and wept. I loved the energy Obama was generating, is generating. I loved the language he was using. Hillary was trying to sound like a stereotypical working class white man and Barack was speaking like a spiritual feminist. That attracted me. And the fact that all of these young people--all races, all genders--were electrified and engaged. Because this much I know: a democracy can't survive without its citizens fully participating. Somehow I saw my vote for Obama as opening the door for thousands of young people so that they, too, would become a part of the American nation in the real sense of citizenry.

Then I spoke with Margaret: If you don't believe it's possible, then it isn't.