A Gathering of Women

Last night a group of women met over cups of tea and sweet cakes to listen to each other. We were quite a mix. We discussed domestic violence, especially as it affects immigrant women. For some it isn't the actual violence, although certainly the threat of it is always looming, but the profound dependency and the fear that such dependency creates, overshadowing everything. Women without education, women who come from nations where educating women is considered a waste of time, where women can't read or write, where women are discouraged from ever leaving the house alone, where women's children have more experience by attending school than they will ever have, it seems. What happens to these women when their husbands abandon them?

It doesn't matter what nationality. The language barrier alone, even if the woman can read in her language of origin, isolates her, makes trust building the first priority. Sometimes that trust never grows and the women disappear.

The assumption that these women are milking our system, taking from us what they don't deserve, is dehumanizing. The Department of Social Services assumes that they are lying. Women who can't read, don't know which pieces of paper to bring: proof of residency, rent stub, grocery receipts, school enrollment letters, even a utility bill. It's all a blur and they fear they will be deported, separated from their children, sent back to their countries, even if they are here legally, but returning home in shame.

Women drinking tea and sharing sweet cakes can change the world. We changed the world a tiny bit last night.